Johnny Depp and what he means to me

He could mean competition.

Johnny Depp is the man every girl and her mother loves. Literally, teenage girls love him because he’s Captain Jack Sparrow, and their mothers love him because he could be the Jonas Brothers’ father, not a fourth brother.

So right now, I’d say J. Depp is looking pretty strong in the most marriable man category.

Lots of men could qualify for that title in many different ways, but Depp wins for popularity and idol-ness. And I think that’s what I want to point out. If Johnny and I stood side by side, why would a woman choose me?

Obviously, trying to out scissorhand him is not the best approach. Nor is trying to out pirate him (though the comedic genius of that might tip the scales for me).

So here’s the trick: don’t compete. Competing with Johnny Depp on coolest glasses, juiciest gossip, or eclectic-ist personality is a joke. It’s like trying to compete with Wal-Mart on price (did I just compare Depp to Wal-Mart?).

Instead, offer something else. Play your strengths to his weaknesses. This applies to anything, not just marriableness or popularity or attractiveness.

I’m going to become the most marriable man, but I’m not going to do it by competing… especially with Willy Wonka. In competition, you lose every time.